Primrose blossoms while Fenn finds his form

Greetings race fans!

The remote Lincolnshire Circuit of Cadwell Park played host to a weekend of thrills and spills as the PBIC hit town. It really was a race of two halves but no prizes for guessing who would end up as sick as a parrot.

The drivers did their best to confuse your intrepid reporter by changing the entry list at the last minute.

Knowing how long it takes me to type her name, Margaret Farqhuar etc etc failed to appear as did Wilson in car 50, although I am sure I spotted him wandering around the collecting area on the Sunday.

Ewart Kitson was out too, as was newly installed co-ordinator Long Haired Dave due to MSA regulations about not scoring points….come to think of it perhaps I would be the ideal co-ordinator as I rarely score points either?

In was the Silver Fox JB in car 71 looking forward to racing some class F drivers at last, only to discover Stibbards car 51 had blown up in testing on Friday and MFR car 34 was no-where to be seen….what’s the common denominator here John? Even his pit crew had deserted him!

In class A the Grey Pig car 60 replaced Wilson, but not for long.

Qualifying

The grids were a bit thin as we were split into the fast guys and the “rest of us” as they like to refer to us.

First out were groups A F & T, with the T types doing their usual spreading of oil and water as they went round.

Walpole took pole for race 1 and Tinkler for the Sunday race.

In the fast classes Cripps was back in his V8 Exocet closely followed by Sandbag Ludlow sharing car 13 with Pete Burchill.

SATURDAY RACE 1 CLASSES A F &T

With the classes reduced I was able to keep up with the front runners as we set off for race one, with Gentlemen Racer Bergonzi falling asleep on the start line.

I cheerfully followed on behind Darby and Tinkler and Walpole although they gradually eased away.

Nevertheless with the front runners in my sights I pressed on and shaved 3 seconds off my mediocre qualification times.

It was not to last though, and as I tried to make up ground while the leaders gradually pulled away I suffered the well known ailment of “lead-foot”, whereby my hefty application of the throttle round the woodlands hairpin caused me to spin and shove the nose into the Armco.

This pushed back the bonnet and ripped off the spoiler, all except for one plucky screw which allowed the spoiler to twist up in the air like the Sword of Damocles in front of me.

My race was run and I crept back to the paddock area and held my head in shame.

I was not the only casualty of this race as Darby car 38 got a rear wheel on the grass and spun off also having a chat with Mr Armco and ripping his exhaust pipe off in the process.

This allowed Lew Bergonzi to recover from his uncharacteristicly bad start and make it up to third. Can I also say now that here is no truth in the rumour that Lew fell asleep at the lights due to someone repeatedly shining a torch through his car window during the night…..I don’t even have a torch……anyway, moving on…

Piggott expired mid-race as his newly fitted core-plugs turned out to be not that well fitted and drained all the Pig’s coolant (I am referring to the car not the driver here). Legs decided not to attempt a repair for the following race and went home to spend more time with his packet of Marlboro.

I missed the delight of car 5 John Wreghitt going agricultural at the mountain and then taking a quick sight-seeing tour round the grassy knoll. Cheered on by the crowd and marshals he finally realised that he would never drive up the grass and turned round before rejoining.

The final  result here was Walpole Tinkler and Bergonzi in that particular order.

Race 1 classes B&C

The split race allowed me the pleasure of watching  a Cripps master-class in driving excellence.

He led the race from start to finish in his gleaming V8 and just romped away from the rest of the field really in a class of his own.

Further down the field a frantic race was taking place for third between Neaves Senior car 7, Barry Holmes car 77,  Terry Holmes car 30 and Shane Terry car 29.

It really was nail-biting stuff which sadly ended up with some contact near barn ending the race for Terry (Holmes) and (Shane) Terry following a collision.

This put Blaine into 3rd place but following a meeting with the clerk of the course he was removed from the score sheet.

I did not see this incident and I am sure each driver will have his own view, but it does strike me as a little harsh that in Club Racing we are having drivers disqualified…we all pay our money and I would like to think that no-one would merit this type of punishment in our series. Nuff said.

Meanwhile back in class B Pat Fenn car  22 was having a blistering race, at last he has got his V8 going like it should which rewarded him with a well deserved class win. Well done Pat.

Pete Andrews out in Rob Huffs car was going exceedingly well,  getting fastest lap in class which proved too much for him and he decided to rest the car after 10 laps for the following days racing.

Barry Holmes in a desperate bid to win over the crowd spent most of his time waving…or was it gesturing, I couldn’t be sure as he went on to snatch third in the amended results.

A really cracking race to watch with Ollie Neaves hanging on to second, a country mile behind Cripps.

SUNDAY RACE 1 CLASSES A F &T

With most of the cars patched up following their bruising the day before an even smaller grid lined up for the early doors race on Sunday morning.

The grid was down to single figures but this was still going to be Tinkler’s day.

A swift start saw Wreghitt scorch off the line from 6th place to second by turn one….he really surprised everyone including himself , so much so that while he paused to collect his thoughts he found the rest of the field catching him up to put him back down into 6th again by turn  four!

I was squeezed by Darby as we tried to get three cars round turn one, but it was never going to work and I soon found myself falling behind with Wreghitt bearing down on me.

The 25 minutes really took their toll on both driver and car as I managed to cook the n/s front tyre with my traditional harsh steering, resulting in Wreghitt, the quicker of us,  snapping at my heels while Tinkler and the rest stormed ahead.

A close call with a slow moving T Type nearly ended my race as I passed him at the goose neck only to lock up at the bottom of the hill.

Wreghitt made a couple of lunges but I had left him no room and we both settled for 5th & 6th respectively, a good race but with little to show for it at the end.

But today really belonged to Simon Tinkler in car 18….he has put in the hard work over the season and has been finally rewarded with a well deserved win – a popular result with all the drivers - Well Done!!!!

James Darby and Lew B scored a well run 2nd & 3rd relegating Walpole to an unlikely 4th…although he did set a new lap record in the process.

Has Tinkler put the carrot cruncher out to grass?  We will have to see at Snett!

SUNDAY RACE TWO CLASSES B&C

The start line drama was well under way as even before the lights went on Terry Holmes in car 30 disappeared in a cloud of smoke and steam and dived into the pits seconds before the race began.

As the lights went out Ollie got off the line first determined to put Cripps behind him.

Ollie held him off for a while but then had to concede once more as Cripps powered past.

This time out Cripps decided to have a bit of fun at Ollie’s expense and looked to make a race of it.

They diced for a while but Cripps soon pulled away drifting the V8 round the track in his unique style.

Once again the battle for third was edge of the seat stuff, with Blaine doing his best to hold back the rest of the pack to allow Ollie to make a break for it.

The first casualty was at the mountain when Shane Terry lost it under acceleration and spun into the Armco.

He recovered and rejoined well down the field.

This allowed Barry Holmes in his bus-driver style of driving to take on Blaine Neaves with Dan Ludlow in the mix in the Vulcan Racing ZS.

On the penultimate lap Blaine barrelled onto the mountain to lose it under braking with a graceful sideways slide onto the grass.

This gifted third to Barry Holmes, who taken by surprise, forgot to stop waving to the crowd and drove straight off the track at the hairpin stuffing it into the fence.

This passed the parcel to Dan Ludlow giving him 3rd overall and 1st in class and returned 3rd in class to Blaine.

Andrew Barker in car 87 had been limping his misfiring B around the track in both races but it finally expired on lap 11.

So the final result was Cripps, Neaves (junior) & Ludlow.

A few die-hards had a crack at the end of the day Allcomers race including Long Haired Dave who managed 2 laps before suffering fuel pump problems.

Cadwell really took its toll on the cars and this race was no exception with no less than 8 DNF’s.

Only Burchill and Ludlow managed to save the PBIC good name with a 4th place overall.

So folks an  interesting weekend all round with some surprise results, spectacle, controversy and a bit of panel beating as well.

All thoughts are now focussed on the Grand Finale at Snetterton in October.

I am packing my wellies and waterproofs already.

Last but not least, I know many of you don’t want to think about the Christmas Do yet, but if you get a chance it would help as so far I have been handed just the one menu and payment.

As we are all at Snett this would be the ideal time to bring along your menus and your chequebooks…you know it makes sense!!

That will really be the last time I have to collect them but of course you could always post them off now to Richard Tinkler.

Cheers

Jonesey

Greetings race fans!

Yes I know I have left it a bit late to get the pre-race report on but I have been a bit busy planning for the Xmas Do.

You have already had one e-mail from me with the booking forms on but I have been told this was a bit confusing and did not have all the relevant info on it so you will be getting another one shortly.

As we are running our own Do this year it would be a big help to get as many deposits and menus in as soon as possible so we can make payments to the hotel etc. as we cannot pass the tab to the MGCC.

The forms this time round can be printed off and sent to Richard Tinkler with the money…he will also take them from you at Cadwell…so try not to leave it to the last minute as everyone sorting this out is doing this in their own time.

OK then, on to Cadwell.

33 drivers are on the grid this time out which is a little lower than last year but it looks as though we will still get our split races.

This worked well last time out as the classes were more closely matched then can happen when we are all out together.

Groups A F & T are the first to take to the track and we see the welcome return of Margaret Farquhar-Rigg and Kevin Stibbards in class F. The “silver fox” old JB does not look like he will make it this time out after being the sole contender in the class at Mallory.

The T Types are back in force too, with no less than five of them registered to race. As always John Bussey will be the one to watch here as he wrings the neck of his faithful car and no doubt he will be entered in several other races as well as the PBIC.

Class A sees the return of  Wilson the Clockwork Orange, but no sign of his pal Legs of Doom as he spends a little more time reconstructing the Grey Pig.

The two James’s will continue their battle with the Old Geezer Lew Bergonzi, but the Blue Flash (Darby) has his proto-type Flash2 Engine installed following the blow-up at Mallory. (Thanks for the race report James) Will this new engine be enough to beat Mr Immac himself who is out on new rubber?

The remaining classes B, C & E will be out on their own with a reasonable showing for class B but a slightly less reasonable one for class C.

I don’t recognise car 154 perhaps someone will let me know if this is a new bod?

The Brat Pack of Holmes and Spencer are re-joined by “quick jaw Magraw” Simon Cripps who returns after a two race gap.

Now what about class E then…it’s shown on the programme but is there anyone in it?

Anyhow this will be the first big test for our caretaker co-ordinator Long Haired Dave as he prepares himself for his first full season running the championship in 2011 – I feel he may have to spend more time co-ordinating and less time helping repair the Metro of brother Alan who is attempting to re-incarnate (used that joke before so move on) his battered car after Mallory..…perhaps that’s why they called it the Phoenix Challenge before?

So there we are folks, Lincolnshire beckons for a two-day outing, let’s give it our Peter Best shot!

I hope to pitch the Jonesey Racing Team Tent on Friday night and then work my way through the Pete Burchill stash of beer!

See you there.

Jonesey

****************STOP PRESS************

or Breaking News if you watch Sky-

I forgot to mention that former racer Dan Neaves of Team Neaves fame, finding he has some time on his hands has kindly offered to compile the Xmas Video showing all those classic moments from this seasons racing.

Please forward your  tapes / DVD’s / Memory sticks or SD cards to him at the following address so he can get to work. He will return all material at Snett or at the Xmas Do itself… don’t be shy get that footage in!!!!

Dan Neaves c/o Team Neaves Racing 1 Stephens Field, Chiddingfold, Surrey, GU8 4QP

Mallory Race Report July 2010

A slightly reduced field of Peter Besters took to the track as guests of the Morgan Sports Car Club at Mallory.

The Morgan drivers consisting of several Tarquins and Ponsonby-Smythes were a little taken aback as the Peter Besters consisted of Browns and Joneses.

Nevertheless they let us race anyway.

As predicted of the 24 who turned up to race, bringing up the rear with their late entries were the V8 brigade consisting of Spencer, Reeves and V8 wannabee Weasley Beasley.

Although you had to feel sorry for Reeves as he wandered forlornly about the paddock on his own, missing his pal and spiritual leader Cripps.

What few of us knew but I can now exclusively reveal about Lofty was that his enforced absence was due to undergoing an urgent medical procedure.

Due to the presence of the gigantis gene in his body, which is hereditary, Cripps’ head is too far away from the ground. His excessive height means that unlike us normal folk, gravity has an increased effect on him and this has resulted in Lofty’s upper teeth gradually falling out. He has tried to mask this with a set of false ones but this was only a temporary measure hence his recent absence to have a new set fitted.

I digress…back to the race stuff!

24 eager Besters took to the field for practice, although Wilson of Clockwork Orange fame was spending more time with his panel-beater, the Wilson Clan were well represented in the shape of long-lost cousin Simon Wilson. Sadly he was driving a Metro but you can’t have everything I suppose. At least his driving skills seem somewhat more developed than that of his older cousin, er.. Wilson.

He took his smoking Metro out for a good thrashing, the fault which later turned out to be no more than too much oil exiting via the dipstick.

Nice stickers on his car too,  thoughtfully provided by his pit crew.

Dave Brown was re-in-car- nated (see what I did there?-priceless!) in a slightly worse for wear Sprite which he had dragged back into service following his prang at Silverstone.

Unfortunately it was not to survive practice and he retired,  but 10 out of 10 for effort in coming back though.

Beasley was another casualty and was seen tinkering away at the end of practice but to no avail.

Tripod also suffered some sort of catastrophe involving a  head replacement, Beaker did tell me what the problem was but it was of a technical nature so I naturally forgot what he said.

Long haired Dave offered up his usual “mis-fire” excuse but we all know it was really that his head-lamp bulbs had blown.

The shock departure of the day was the Blue Streak James Darby. He suffered a suspected exploding piston and was not able to join the race proper. He denies that his compression testing programme was to blame and vows to return with the Blue Steak Mk2 development engine at Cadwell.

Blaine Neaves suffered from an anti-rollbar wrenching itself free from the chassis but he did not discover this until after the race!

The Race

So a slightly reduced grid went out for the race proper on this small track which seemed to be a bit of a car breaker.

As the Green flag lap began, Tripod erupted in a cloud of steam and was pushed off the track…..Primrose piloted by  Simon Tinkler decided she didn’t want to start and was relegated to the back of the grid after receiving a hefty shove from the marshals.

Same goes for Rob Spencer who also could’nt start and joined Primrose at the back of the  grid too!

That left me at an advantage, but with both Pat Fenn and Blagger Burchill in front of me I needed a good start to make the most of it.

Red lights on then in true Murray Walker fashion…GO GO GO!!!

I made a cracking start, squeezing in between Fenn and Burchill, but Fenn was having none of it as he mysteriously drifted towards the right  sandwiching me between the two cars….this was to end in disaster though as soon after he ended up beached in the grit on Gerards bend.

But more drama was to unfold before the first lap was over….in the distance the front runners were fighting tooth and nail for position when OFF OFF OFF!!!

Alan Brooke in his souped up dog kennel had taken a packet of “brave pills” swigged down with Redbull.

He overtook Blaine Neaves round the outside of Gerards when CONTACT! (I do miss Murray Walker).

Brooke went into a massive slide and struck the Armco head-on.

His race was run and his car pretty well written off….OUCH!

In true Judge Judy fashion, here are the videos - first Alan’s Video-

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=-OrbRhKWyEM&playnext=1&videos=9ny8qjB0ucY&feature=sub

 and heres Blaine’s-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT78syXLYdY

…you decide!

Blaine continued and finished 3rd overall and 2nd in class behind returning to form sprog, Ollie.

But streets ahead was James Wheeler to take the  race and class win in his yellow roadster.

Meanwhile, back at class A my advantage was being eroded as Primrose on a recovery drive once again was closing in and filling my mirrors.

I was in an unfamiliar position close on the heels of none other than Mr Immac himself James Walpole.

He was engaged in an almighty tussle with class B car 53, Kevin Swann.

Walpole was quicker in the corners but just wasn’t able to out-drag Swann on the little Leicester circuit.

Sadly neither was I!

This allowed veteran racer Lew Bergonzi to steam ahead in his sky-blue roadster to take the class A win.

The action wasn’t over though, as on the last lap Rob Spencer was happily lapping the rest of the grid when he over cooked it into Gerards and buried his V8 in the kitty litter.

There was one other DNF in the shape of Adam Entwhistle car 72…although the reason for his demise escapes me.

So there it is folks, a reduced grid but no reduction in thrills and spills as we once again put on an action packed show for the Mallory crowd.

As I close this report I must just take time to congratulate Silver Fox John Binczyk, for not only achieving the fastest lap for class F but also an emphatic class win! Well done. Shame  there were no other class effers out at the time!

Just one last bit of pitlane gossip regarding Cadwell. As I understand it we are at the moment spread over the whole weekend for this double-header.

The consensus of opinion at Mallory was that if possible most drivers would prefer to race on just the one day, as this made life easier in relation to work commitments  etc. Long Haired Dave is looking into the options and will no doubt keep us posted.

TTFN

Jonesey

We are just a week away from our next race where we are the guests of the Morgan Sports Car Club at Mallory.

An interesting if somewhat smaller entry list for this meeting as there are many regulars missing. What has happened to all the one-race wonders that appeared at Silverstone?

Not only that, where are Cripps and his V8 pals?… same goes for the Grey Pig, and  perhaps Mallory did not a-peel to the Clockwork Orange after his last outing at Silverstone…or is it just that this was not on the automatic entry and there will be a list of late entries when we get there?

At present we have a field of 21 cars ready to do battle on the little Mallory Circuit. Last year I was relegated to spectator when the head gasket blew…I hope for a better visit this time out.

Although Class A has only 6 entrants, sadly they are all likely to be very close together and in front of me!

Nevertheless I have been liberally patching up the trusty B with plastic padding and Halfords white paint, although it is looking very second-hand after the Silverstone outing. I now have a monthly delivery of headlamps and front indicator lenses much to the delight of my local MG stockist.

Although Mallory is the friendly circuit I seem to remember that a bit of paint got swapped around last time out, fingers crossed for a clean race please!!!

Class B is double the size of most of the others and the ranks are swelled by one of the Wheelers in car 31. Dave Brown is shown out in a Sprite, is this the same Dave Brown of ZT and MGF fame?

Class C sees the return of Neaves Senior determined not to be out done by youngster Ollie. There is a new entrant in the shape of Mark Ellis in his twin-cam MGA which should really put the cat amongst the pigeons…this quick car is well known in other series.

At least John Binczyk is assured of a good result as he only has to finish the race to win Class F, not much of a result though as he is the only entrant!

Just to finish off then, thanks to Team Tripod for this photo showing James Darby getting the prize for “Best Moonwalk” at the recent Michael Jackson Tribute at Silverstone!

Jonesey

YOU KNOW WHEN YOU’VE BEEN TANGOED.

Greetings Race Fans….well where do I begin?

To say Silverstone was full of thrills and spills would be the understatement of the year!!!

As predicted the PBIC fielded a massive 36 cars for the Race over the Historic Grand Prix Circuit, with many of the drivers taking advantage of the Friday practice session.

For some reason I thought we had 42 on the grid but maths never was my strong point.

There are loads of drivers who attended this event, none of whom are known to me so not much I can say about them really.

One familiar face returning to the fold however, was James Pitt car 39, in his gleaming B Roadster. He informs me the colour was a special purchase from none other than the former Phoenix Participant and MG Trader Jeremy Rogers, who it was nice to see Spectating following his recovery from a serious road accident earlier this year.

Qualifying on Sunday was relatively uneventful with many of the driver’s attempting to learn the track and also put in good times.

The return of Weasley did not go according to plan as his little yellow midget decided to have a tantrum and throw a wheel off after four laps.

Simon Cripps took pole although this was in his Roadster and not the V8 as shown on the entry list.

The shock qualifier had to be Alan Brooke in his upgraded Metro taking second….WOW!!!! Even beating back his bearded brother to third!

Other than Beaker in car 43 it was clear the long track was going to suit the V8’s as they littered the front rows.

As for  good old class A all the hard practice by Darby on Friday was of no use as the man-machine Walpole was there again, but if pole is part of your name what would you expect.

THE RACE

With the race fast approaching we all trooped off for our beasting, sorry I meant briefing by Ron Gammons, who may be able to say “I told you so” with some conviction next time we meet.

The atmosphere was electric as testosterone mixed with Castrol R and saw the PBIC drivers in a state of high excitement and perhaps a bit over-excited in some cases.

The revs rose to a crescendo as the lights went out and 36 gas peddles were floored simultaneously, the grid hurtling to the first corner as one.

This was clearly a recipe for disaster and Mr Bump-and-Grind Bergonzi wasted no time as he nosed along some slower drivers in his path. I believe this is called “finding a space”.

Round the first corner we all went, smoke dust and fumes filled the air. So far so good, a few cars wobbled a little bit but we all kept going, approaching the left kink, few more wobbles, brake lights , think it will be ok….is that someone on the grass?

Then it happened….Clockwork Orange was on the grass flat out and suddenly he was back on the track, only this time at a 90 degree angle cutting across the rest of the pack!

WALLOP!  Straight into poor Old the Moons a Balloon, er… John Moon….shoving him across the track instantly , right into the path of Dave Brown – WALLOP! again… followed by KERBOOM! (too many Batman comics) as Moon went up in flames….cars went  all over the place trying to avoid the crash as smoke and debris flew above us.

No surprises, the race was red flagged immediately, not something we are used to fortunately in this series.

I am not sure if car 14 Barry Proud got caught up in this but he certainly did not return for the restart.

Nevertheless many of us did and with a slightly depleted field we went and had another go at it.

ORANGE SQUASH

We got away a little more safely this time  but unfortunately for me, the Clockwork Orange still had the pip between his teeth and as I tried to nip through on the inside  at a left hand corner he shut the door on me….HARD!

Contact!!! … and that will be another new headlamp and a trip down to Wings-r-Us for me then.

It was a little surreal though, as I felt the impact and then saw Wilson scrape past the front of my car as he spun round. Then he finished off by scraping the new wing I had just put on the passenger side, following the damage I suffered when Mr Tinkler and I got too friendly last time out.

Racing doesn’t get tougher than this!!!

Still I thought, at least I am still going and that should be enough excitement for one race, so I set about chasing down Tinkler when oh no…here we go again….this time Alan Exocette Brooke left the black stuff stage right and booted it (ahh the good old front wheel drive) and rocketed  back onto the track at greater speed, making a bee-line for Primrose (how do I think this up?). 

Simon (Racing under the alias of Richard) lifted, and went into a spin.

Crikey it’s all go this racing lark, but this let me nip through but clearly enraged Simon who set about his recovery drive like a man possessed.

After a few laps I could see him bearing down on me at a phenomenal rate and this time out I could not hold him off and he passed me around lap 5 and then shot off into the distance.

Well they do say a practice session is worth 2 seconds a lap. They may be right.

Then there was the déjà-vu moment….is it?  no it can’t be…it looks like the Vulcan Bomber Burchill behind me.

And sure enough it was just like old times as he blatted past me on the straight. Hmm, but not that quick on the corners though, I just had one brave pill left, so throwing caution to the wind floored it round the next corner as Burchill braked….quite a nice four wheel drift I thought as I veered towards the ample run-off area, but I kept my foot in and as my tyres screamed in protest managed to keep ahead of unlucky car 13.

Before I knew it the race was run and to be honest it was just nice to get back with most of the car intact.

Back in the pits I found a few other drivers had got a bit closer than they would have liked.
Peter  Andrews in his much improved V8 had his right wing hanging off after a scrape with Terry Holmes and both failed to finish.

Alan Brooke having successfully rejoined  was shown as a non-finisher although he had done the full 7 laps….what happened there?

RESULTS

Simon Cripps was back with a vengeance and took the win in his Roadster with Beaker getting 2nd overall in tripod and taking the class C win, with Ollie Neaves 3rd overall.

Pat Fenn had his best placing in his V8 so far  with 8th over all.

Bump-and-grid Bergonzi taught the whipper-snappers a lesson in class A and took the win there and grinder, sorry I mean driver of the day! Carrot and Darby took the other silverware. A good effort on Darby’s part though getting the Class A fastest lap in a hard fought race.

James Brice pipped the Silver Fox to the class F result.

This really was a drive-it-like-you-stole-it type of race full of excitement granted, but maybe just a bit too rough in hindsight.

I am pleased to report that John Moon is out of hospital and I have re-listed his comments below.

I am also happy to have been able to fill in the gaps for him regarding the crash!!

All in all a very enjoyable day and I am only glad that the majority of damage was mainly wallet related and not too bad injury –wise.

I am sure we all wish John a very speedy recovery.

I am off to start the repairs once again and look forward to seeing you all at a slightly calmer Mallory perhaps?

There are already some discussions taking place with regard to venues for the Christmas Do, but I will mention this in another report as I have blathered on quite long enough in this one.

Cheers!!

Jonesey.

************************John Moons Comments********************

Hi all, Just feeling well enough to find this and contribute. Came out of hospital yesterday. I have no recollection of either the race or qualifying. So as far as I’m concerned I’ve never been on the Silverstone GP circuit! My mechanics just brought the car back - doesn’t explain how my helmet came off and how I cracked my ribs….If anyone has any in-car footage or photos I would really appreciate them- it may help restore my memory.
Thanks for all the good wishes, appreciated.

John Moon

Greetings Race Fans!

Well the year is flying by and already we are at the half way point and the Silverstone extravaganza is upon us.

It’s a bit like entering the National Lottery as you can be sure of a full grid with loads of drivers you have never heard of and will probably not see again all year. The last count was that we had 42 on the grid.

That said there are many familiar faces coming out to play this time and also the return of some better known drivers in the shape of Margaret Farquhar-Rigg, Rob Weasley and James Pitt.

In fact I am thinking of changing my name to James to see if it helps with my driving as the two James’s seem to have the monopoly on the podium for class A this year.

Mr Pitt is a bit of an unknown quantity as he returns after a few years absence; will he be up to the challenge of this very competitive class?

Miss Daisy has failed to locate a new engine after the explosion at Oulton and will not be out this time round.

I am also hearing that Lofty Cripps has spent more time on his post-race speeches and not enough time on his V8 repairs; this means he will be out in his class B roadster to give Long Haired Dave a run for his money.

John Bussey is back as the only class T entrant looking to give his TC a spin round the full Silverstone circuit.

The Neaves clan will be represented by 22 year old Ollie while Blaine repairs the Red-devil and Dan continues his busking in order to raise funds for his entry fee.

We also have the new Vulcan Team consisting of former loony Pete “Scotty” Burchill, and Klingon Dan the Sand Ludlow.  They will be making the trek to Silverstone but the only warp they have is in their minds.  Having phasered out the old team they hope to stun the crowds but it will take more than an enterprising new name to do that.

It’s racing Jim, but not as we know it.

I had hoped to get out for a bit of practice on Friday but work commitments have prevented this, so I will just have to remember to go straight on at turn two and to attend the drivers briefing!

So ladies and gentlemen, the clock is ticking until the mayhem that is turn one is unleashed as all 40 odd cars try to go round at the same time….

I have stocked up on replacement  wings and lamp clusters!

Let battle commence!

See you Sunday.

Jonesey.

Neaves takes the biscuit as Cripps crumbles

Summer arrived in typical Oulton style for the PBIC May visit, with freezing cold weather and a biting wind with a spot of rain thrown in for good measure.

A relatively small amount of die hard racers pitched up the night before for the traditional pre-race drinks and feeble attempts to psych out their fellow competitors with various claims of modifications and tactics.

But despite my best efforts the the majority insisted on either drinking child’s portions of beer or fruit based drinks laced with red-bull.

Consequently the bar staff decided to close the bar at 9.30pm and concentrated their minds on ejecting us at the earliest opportunity.

The prospect of a good nights sleep was ruined by the usual idiot who felt it necessary to run a generator all night just because he liked the sound of it, coupled with the fact that my air-bed tank tape repair failed miserably leaving me feeling very deflated.

Qualifying

Saturday was damp windy and cold with a grid of 22 Peter Besters ready to do battle. The possibility of rain threatened, but as it turned out there was only just enough to get the track a bit slippy in places but a dry line was present for most of us to use.

The V8 boys were keen to put the whipper-snapper Ollie Neaves in his place and Cripps & Spencer took 1 & 2 on the grid with Ollie a lowly 3rd.

The ever consistent Walpole took pole for class A basking in the recent success of his new diet book “Lose weight the Walpole Way”. This follows hot on the heels of his “Bald is Beautiful” book.

His latest tome has simplified dieting for the masses and seems to consist of just the one recipe:
1. Buy one carrot.
2. When you feel hungry, eat it.

Anyway back to the racing. I had been lulled into a false sense of security when Red-bull swilling octogenarian Lew Bergonzi did a sandbag run in qualifying and let me past. This resulted in me being about 6 seconds off the pace but nevertheless still next to Twinkle-toes Tinkler on the grid.

The other half of Church Lane Racing in the guise of the Jolly Green Giant Peter Andrews had fielded another car this time a V8 GT, which was to prove it was a true MG in every sense.

Race 1

I made a reasonably good start and managed to get into third in class A passing Primrose in the usual 1st corner scramble.

The memory of my pathetic qualifying forgotten I made strenuous efforts to keep ahead of Primrose and a storming Miss Daisy whilst also trying to at least keep up with the two James’s who were once again performing their synchronised driving display.

All was going well until the chicane when Primrose nipped past putting me back down into 4th.

Four laps of hard work followed as I closed in looking for the chance to get past the yellow peril. These efforts were to end in disaster. As we left the 2nd chicane I got a good run out and closed hard on the boot of Tinkler…now was it Lodge or Druids corner?

Pretty sure it was Lodge, anyhow, I was hard on Tinkler’s heels and the door was open, foot down and go for it …..at exactly the same time Primrose closed the door resulting in disaster!

Fibre-glass wing lost out to the metal rear wing on Primrose as we made contact.

Two flat spotted tyres under locked brakes later I saw Primrose recover and disappear in to the distance as bits of my car blew away.

My race was run. Not sure of how much damage there was I bumped along at reduced speed to finish the race well down the field.

On the plus side the damage appears to have been confined to the tyres, wing, headlamps etc and during the extended break liberal amounts of tank tape enabled me to get out for race two.

Primrose had  a bit of panel beating and replaced  her rear lamp lens and was also able to continue having picked up a third in class A for race one.

Walpole took class A honours and young Neaves took the race win having sailed past Cripps and Spencer.

Miss Daisy had put in some excellent times and was looking good for a decent finish but the Jonah of the Joneses struck again as the Montego engine hit the self-destruct button and fired a con-rod through the block. OUCH!

RACE 2

With my patched up car looking very sorry for itself we trooped off for race two.

The weather had improved a little with the dark clouds doing no more than threaten rain.

Following the unusual qualifying times for some, the grid was interesting with many of the front runners to be found starting from the back.

Peter Andrews V8 had suffered a few teething problems in race one and this was to continue in race 2.

Lew Bergonzi was also well back, but now having gulped down half a gallon of Red-bull was back to his canny self.

An event free start saw me up into 2nd place in class A alongside James Baldpole using the element of surprise, i.e. I surprised myself that I was in 2nd.

This soon wore off as they all got past me by turn three and I found myself 4th place in class A.

Still looking good for a pot I thought but this was not to last as Bergonzi was biding his time looking for his chance to nip past which he did very neatly at the corner I had crashed into Tinkler during the previous race….I knew it was possible  to overtake there but….anyway enough of that.

Then shock horror, Walpole broke down with a repeat of his rotor-arm failure of a year or so ago. B****s, I could have been 3rd!!!…er, ..I meant to say, I am sorry to hear of Mr Walpole’s mechanical failure.

With renewed vigour I chased after Bergonzi but it was all in vain,  first I got stuck behind Terry Holmes as his car expired then I over cooked the first chicane and went grass tracking all the while seeing the field just get further away ….ARRGGGH!

It’s clearly just not meant to be…..

I should mention I also had a good tussle with Catweasel aka Andrew Barker in car 87, who I sadly cannot call Catweasel anymore as he has  grown a full beard instead of that dinky little goaty he had before. He shall now be known as son of Long Haired Dave which is probably far worse.

So where did we all end up then?

The invincible Ollie did it again clearing the board of trophies, which were much nicer than the picture frames dished out at Brands.

Swap anyone?

Lofty Cripps blew his engine in his efforts to beat the tea-total Neaves who strolled home to victory. Lofty made up for it with a hilarious speech at the awards. Tea-total Ollie?????

Dan Ludlow stormed to second place overall and first in class B in the newly re-named Vulcan Racing Car. The new name apparently due to Sandbag Ludlow’s uncanny resemblance to the Mekon. (for those of you who don’t remember the Eagle comics…try Google for help).

Expect plenty of Star Trek based puns in the return of the pre-race report for Silverstone. Yes I know… I am sorry I didn’t do one for Oulton but to be honest I didn’t think anyone actually read them, I will try harder.

Apparently Team Vulcun were going to be called the Star Wars Team because of Burchills’ resemblance to Jabba – the- Hut but this did not prove very popular.

With the DNF of Walpole this allowed James Two (Darby) through to class A victory followed by Tinkler and Bergonzi.

I managed to be the fourth loser.

Peter Andrews suffered clutch failure in the new V8 which hopefully will be the last of the teething problems, I am sure he will be a force to be reckoned with once back on song.

The presentations took a leaf out of the race format and were much quicker by doing the results for both races together. A simple but effective way to reduce delays for the weary homeward traveller which worked well.

Once again the sporting nature of the series shone through with the lucky pot winners paying tribute to the clean racing and courtesy shown by the drivers to each other.

I am sorry I let the side down! but I did manage to push Simon Tinkler into third nonetheless!

Pitlane Gossip

Not much gossip to report as I have been sworn to secrecy with regard to Wilson’s beer consumption which was only beaten by Dan Neaves who was found staggering back from the Burchill Bar in the early hours of Saturday morning.

I have trashed my tyres and will be looking to replace them before Silverstone. Funds being limited, coupled with the other bits I need to replace following my brush with Primrose, the thought of purchasing the more reasonably priced Silverstones looks appealing. Not only the price but I think it is excellent that this year we have on-site tyre support at the races which I think we should patronise. However, I note the Class A regs state we can use a maximum size tyre of 185×60. Silverstone’s do a 185×55. which would be permitted……I do not see that the slightly smaller tyre would be a major difference to the yokies other than being more reasonable on the wallet….I await your comments before I have to shell out in the very near future.

Also, for general consideration have a look at this link. It shows the production team AMGTV’s efforts ( http://www.raceandrallyuk.tv/ ) when they filmed the Trophy Boys at Brands…..what do you reckon?

And finally I understand there is no truth in the rumour that Long Haired Dave intends to update the official website on an annual basis.

He feels once every five years is enough….boom boom!  Oh all right , I  believe he will be putting on the latest newsletters and updates shortly…but don’t hold your breath!

Until the Pre-Race Report then!

Bye for now.

Jonesey

A bright and breezy Brands Hatch saw a packed grid for the first PBIC event of 2010, and it was good to see all the old faces back again.

Many of the drivers were resplendent in new race suits  not least of all was Legs of Doom who had finally abandoned his skin tight lycra outfit in favour of a nice red number to match the end of his glowing cigarette.

Alan Brooke had taken a leaf out of Blaine Neaves book, following the saying “bigger engine means bigger overalls” although Alan must have thought he had put a V8 in his metro judging by the fit of his race suit.

His Lordship Frank Thomson was kitted out in a made to measure number, not sure who it was made to measure for….but so be it.

Some of the others had to go one better of course and a smattering of shiny motor homes cast a large shadow over the rusting Jonesey-Racing bongo-van.

Qualifying saw Ollie Neaves set a blistering pole ahead of Simon Cripps and Old Man Neaves.

For class A it was business as usual with the two James’s once again leading the field.
Simon Tinkler & Primrose took third on the grid and hang on a minute…what’s happened here??? Miss Daisy fourth???

Yes folks you couldn’t make it up, money has been no object during the winter months as Miss Daisy has received a full engine re-build, new Silverstone tyres and wheels and it’s certainly paid off. The yellow hearse was back in contention with yours truly in fifth alongside.

Returning racer Wilson in the Clockwork Orange was a respectable 6th.

But this wasn’t the only surprise of the day. Doom in the Grey Pig in a rash(er) move abandoned his usual last place spot and out qualified 3 group B cars.

Things were hotting up.

RACE ONE

You could cut the air with a knife as the drivers eagerly awaited race one. Would it be a case of first race nerves and overexcitement?….if the preceding races were anything to go by it would turn into a Destruction Derby (no offence James).

31 cars lined up  for the inaugural race, the cars smoking  pleasantly in the cool breeze, clearly the downhill slope was causing some problems as a few over-keen drivers started to roll slowly forwards as the first red light came on…

And then we were off.  I made an uncharacteristically good start for once, must be that downhill advantage, and found myself alongside Pat Fenn in his gleaming V8…I also, managed to get past Simon Tinkler in Primrose who got boxed in on the inside round turn one.

We all hurtled up to the hairpin and I was surprised to see Dave Brown appear on my inside as we went round, leaving a large tyre mark on my trusty B in the process. I knew I should never have washed it!

I could also see the Two James’s not far in the distance as we went round turn three. No sign of Alan Brooke this year as he had already scampered off in his rejuvenated metro.

Tinkler was soon bearing down on me in Primrose and I adopted the now well practised strategy of elbows out, creating the widest B on the track.

Whichever mirror I looked in it was full of Primrose’s bonnet ready to nip past at the first opportunity.

This defensive drive coupled with Brown and Rigg tussling in front allowed the two James’s to press on regardless drawing further away each lap.

With the race shortened to just 10 minutes due to various crashes in the preceding races and also the appearance of the Air Ambulance, there was not enough time for the front runners to lap me for once. Although it was to me, a very long ten minutes!

Only three cars failed to make it to the finish, Catweasel in car 87 did a bit of off-roading and beached himself in a gravel trap.
Not sure what happened to cars 20 and his Lordship Thomson in 23, but they did not return for race two.

So the results for race 1 were Ollie Neaves first, followed by Cripps and (ooh Betty) Spencer. Walpole and Darby were first and second with Darby managing to steal fastest lap for class A….The trusty B came in a remarkable third which is an improvement on my usual 5th place.

RACE 2

The first race was not without its casualties. Although we had to wait for about an hour in the collecting area for the Air Ambulance to leave, this clearly wasn’t enough time for the track staff to get the road sweeper out and remove  the large amount of gravel from Paddock Hill.
As a result several cars looked like they had been racing in Beirut after the green flag lap, with several bullet holes in their windscreens and Miss Daisy suffering a punctured radiator.

The Grey Pig with its new high output engine blew a water pump and Legs of Doom decided to fit a spare which had been handed down as a family heirloom.

No surprise this was worse than the original one and a short while later I saw a nice gleaming new one being fitted, ably assisted by Wilson who was shouting words of advice as he demolished a mound of sandwiches.

This meant that the Grey Pig was able to go to the party with seconds to spare for race two. Miss Daisy was unable to continue and withdrew, which had I known it at the time robbed me of a fine photo frame with a picture of Lord Lichfield in it by reducing the class A field….on reflection, perhaps one photo frame with a bit of plastic stuck on it is enough for anyone.

Anyhow, race two saw 26 of the original 31 line up to do battle, and once again the downhill slope was proving too much for some as they tried and failed to restrain their cars before the lights went out.

Off we went for another 10 minute blast and this time I managed to get past Pat Fenn’s V8, although I have no idea how or when this happened.

The two James’s were not far in front  but once again I was unable to get past Dave Brown to keep up with them, although towards the end I did get past Paul Rigg which is another first for me.

All was going well and I thought I had only to concentrate on trying to keep up with Darby and Walpole as I knew Primrose was starting from the back, but as I glanced in my mirrors once again I saw Primrose hacking her way through the field and before long I could see Brian Blessed look-a-like Peter Andrews closing at break-neck speed with gritted teeth.

My driving became more erratic and Peter clearly could hold tighter lines through the corners as I desperately tried to close the door on him.

I was counting down the time and was saved by the timely appearance of the chequered flag….one more lap and I would have been history!

Ollie Neaves meanwhile had done it again…leaving the “old man” in his dust; he nabbed victory in race two as well.

Beaker in Tripod car 43 was back with a vengeance and took 2nd with Rob Spencer 3rd.
No change in class A as Walpole held Darby at bay to achieve a repeat of race one with Jonesey in third, albeit of a slightly depleted field.

Wilson despite the extra sandwiches on board had knocked 2 seconds off his race one time to give Piggott a run for his money.

The MGCC decided to hold the presentations in a shoe-box and most of the drivers crammed in to receive their somewhat unusual awards.

Blaine Neaves the well known after dinner speaker was allowed to congratulate Ollie on his brace of wins.

James Walpole put his class A wins down to the Chrome Dome effect when he revealed he uses Simonize on his head as well as his car.
Darby threatened to return with yet another new engine next time out to put an end to Walpole’s world domination.

As for class B Terry Holmes pipped Long Haired Dave to victory in Race 1, which the Yeti managed to put right in Race 2 closely followed by Sandbag Ludlow in the Loony Racing ZS.

On a personal note I would like to thank everyone for a good race and particularly The Church Lane Racing Team who were very sporting about my third place finishes.

I really think they were almost as happy as I was! Of course they do realise that these results are unlikely to be repeated!

Should I also point out that we were one of the few races not to get red-flagged? I think this does set us apart from the other series’.

All eyes now look towards Oulton for our next chance to play……bring it on!

Jonesey

Eyes down and look in, here we go again. Yes that’s right folks the Peter Best Insurance Challenge is back in town.

We are going out with all guns blazing with a double –header season opener at Brands to blow away the winter blues on Sunday 11th April 2010.

Quite a few changes for 2010 with several new drivers to our series and a few strategic changes for some existing ones.

Not only that, even the MGCC are getting in on the act, announcing the departure of Maggie Yeadon as our co-ordinator only for her return to be announced this week by the official site….looks like Maggie just couldn’t bear to leave us and who can blame her?

The PBIC goes from strength to strength in spite of the recession and spiralling fuel prices for 2010.

Rumour has it that 2009 Champion James –the-carrot cruncher-Walpole is working on a new fertiliser based fuel additive.

Also a return to more traditional power plants emerges in the shape of Wilson, who has taken on the Clockwork Orange for this year’s series.

Although I have it on good authority that the clockwork part of his nickname is really more appropriate for Legs of Doom Piggott who drives the grey pig. I hear he has been agonising over whether to continue with his dynamo based electrics or not, his big worry is that those new fangled alternators may not provide enough power for his cigarette lighter.

Class A welcomes Wilson and bids farewell to Alan Brooke junior who has taken a leaf out of sandbag’s book and has gone down the K series route….(don’t start all that again) and has moved his Metro into class C although the engine is shown as 1396….an early sandbag attempt methinks.

The rest of Class A are the usual suspects in the form of James Darby with  his new homebuilt engine, Simon Tinkler in Primrose who’s engine is  a closely guarded secret, yours truly in the great unwashed B….which hopefully will sit a little higher off the ground this year following the purchase of some taller springs.

Miss Daisy is back and we eagerly anticipate her new performance following the relaxation of the Montego rules at the drivers meeting.

No sign of Lord God Thompson….but it’s not too late for him yet.

Class B has it’s regulars joined by some new faces in the form of the following:
Car 27 P. Adam Entwistle with an MGB GT …(WHO are you…we really want to know ooh ooh…etc etc)
Car 34 Roland Gray & Phillip Simpson in their  MGB Roadster 1950cc, not sure if this a shared drive here.
Car 53 Kevin Swann in a  MGB Roadster
Car 59 Simon Polley in his  Midget , now is he new? ..his name seems familiar..I am sure the bearded one will correct me in due course.

No Burchill this time out…instead the lean green loony machine will be piloted by good old Sandbag Ludlow…who true to form was claiming some very unusual lap times at a recent testing session at Rockingham.

Class C  looks to be an all action packed group with the Return of Beaker in “Tripod” the amazing midget.

Lofty Cripps still smarting after his off-road moment at Snett is back with a vengeance and just to be sure has two cars entered on the books…but promises to drive just one at a time.

New guy 78 Jonathan Wills  in an MG ZR 160 joins the merry band, but where is Vic Reeves lookalike Barry Holmes I hear you ask, surely he’s not going to let that young whippersnapper Ollie Neaves repeat his last race victory???

Last and of course least we have the three musketeers in class F, namely three wheels on my wagon Stibbards, the Silver Fox and Kermit.

Still a few gaps here and there with some of the regular faces missing but still some time left yet before the closing date for entries….

Now as promised the much maligned and never to be repeated ( unless I get really short of material) yes it’s the good old caption competition results.

Thanks to all of you who did enter…naturally I cannot publish many of them due to the …eh how can I put it…colourful answers you provided.

Nonetheless with the names removed to protect the guilty , in no particular order, here  are some of the better ones…

Invisible lollies makes you go faster
Where’s my ice-cream?
Police warn ice-cream thefts on the increase.
Decline of NHS dentists hit pensioners hard.
Race driver fined for using International Drivers Signal.

And the winner is………

“Being Lew’d”………..the lucky driver is actually not going to be on track for the first half of the season as he wishes to spend more time away from his family, it’s none other than Desperate Dan Neaves.

Well done Dan - I will bring the glittering no expense spent prize to Brands and present it to you or one of the Neaves Clan there.

Well that’s all for now folks……all that remains is for me to say-

Gentlemen, start your engines….

See you there!!

Jonesey
 

Greetings Race Fans & Happy New Year to you all.

The annual tradition of the Motorsport Show at the NEC saw the usual subjects in attendance.

Blagger “it’s for the kids” Burchill was lapping the hall quicker than he laps a circuit (not difficult I hear you say) nabbing all the good discounts for the Loony Team.

He was closely followed by AlanF & son to record his actions on film.

Team Neaves were also out in force using their tried and trusted technique of boring the stall holders into submission and getting discounted products, so long as they agreed to move along to another stand.

Very little was left for Jonesey Racing so I had to be content with a collection of carrier bags and a show guide.

Later during the day Long Haired Dave and Brooke junior appeared.

An impromptu meeting was held around the bar area where we met Jerry of Silverstone Tyres.
He put forward a proposal to better any rival tyre suppliers 2010 price on both his own Silverstone brand and also other branded tyres. I understand the Silverstone tyres are subject of a test by one of the car magazines where they offered comparable performance for a lower price than the well known brands…..sounds a bit like the Daz test to me.

Jerry  has asked if drivers could submit a list of the tyres they are currently running and the best price they can genuinely get them for.

He has offered to do free fitting and balancing and provide a support van at the races.

I presume there may be a requirement for the cars to have his stickers on too but perhaps LHD could confirm this.

In any event I have offered to compile the list of tyres currently required by drivers to see if Jerry can better the prices being paid.

As I understand it there will be no obligation for drivers to run or purchase tyres from Jerry but certainly in my view if we can save a few bob on running costs and have the back-up at the circuit that cannot be a bad thing.

Let know know your views.

I also understand that we have a new treasurer in the shape of Blagger Burchill. In all honesty this is a thankless task and I wish him the very best of luck with it.

Again LHD can correct me if I have got this wrong but I believe with Burchill on board this will allow our series a little bit more say in how things are run, against when the MGCC managed things???

I also asked LHD how the race calendar was looking and he is on the case but appears to be encountering some delays in the response from the Official Side. Hopefully we will soon have those dates sent out.

I have had a few interesting suggestions for the Caption Competition, most of which I will be able to print “in no particular order”.

I will announce the results next month and will naturally respect the requests for anonymity by some of the entrants!

It looks like another interesting and exciting season lies before us especially with several new drivers joining, some of whom are seasoned veterans from other series.

Dave if you are able to get me a list of any of the newbies I will print a brief character assassination of them, or of course the drivers can send me in their details direct.

I am also aware that several new projects are in hand, if you are happy for me to put these in the public domain let me know….otherwise I may have to drop some strong hints or resort to my usual fabrication and embellishment techniques.

That’s all for now…..hopefully I will be able to print a fuller update next month.

Jonesey