Greetings Race Fans!

Well the year is flying by and already we are at the half way point and the Silverstone extravaganza is upon us.

It’s a bit like entering the National Lottery as you can be sure of a full grid with loads of drivers you have never heard of and will probably not see again all year. The last count was that we had 42 on the grid.

That said there are many familiar faces coming out to play this time and also the return of some better known drivers in the shape of Margaret Farquhar-Rigg, Rob Weasley and James Pitt.

In fact I am thinking of changing my name to James to see if it helps with my driving as the two James’s seem to have the monopoly on the podium for class A this year.

Mr Pitt is a bit of an unknown quantity as he returns after a few years absence; will he be up to the challenge of this very competitive class?

Miss Daisy has failed to locate a new engine after the explosion at Oulton and will not be out this time round.

I am also hearing that Lofty Cripps has spent more time on his post-race speeches and not enough time on his V8 repairs; this means he will be out in his class B roadster to give Long Haired Dave a run for his money.

John Bussey is back as the only class T entrant looking to give his TC a spin round the full Silverstone circuit.

The Neaves clan will be represented by 22 year old Ollie while Blaine repairs the Red-devil and Dan continues his busking in order to raise funds for his entry fee.

We also have the new Vulcan Team consisting of former loony Pete “Scotty” Burchill, and Klingon Dan the Sand Ludlow.  They will be making the trek to Silverstone but the only warp they have is in their minds.  Having phasered out the old team they hope to stun the crowds but it will take more than an enterprising new name to do that.

It’s racing Jim, but not as we know it.

I had hoped to get out for a bit of practice on Friday but work commitments have prevented this, so I will just have to remember to go straight on at turn two and to attend the drivers briefing!

So ladies and gentlemen, the clock is ticking until the mayhem that is turn one is unleashed as all 40 odd cars try to go round at the same time….

I have stocked up on replacement  wings and lamp clusters!

Let battle commence!

See you Sunday.

Jonesey.

Greetings race fans.

The Cadwell Race Report is a little later than you are used to due to an outbreak of Man flu in the Jonesey Racing Camp.

Thanks to all of you who have told me to get a move on…so here it is.

Friday evening and the Jonesey Racing team arrived at Cadwell with the trusty B sporting it’s 3rd new head gasket in as many days.

The usual banter was exchanged in the Cadwell Clubhouse that night as drivers munched their way through the dried up remnants of the Cadwell Quiche over a pint of amber nectar.

Saturday dawned dry and clear and with the PBIC dominating the race card with four races in total, practice was soon underway for classes A,F &T for race one.

To save space for the race report I won’t dwell on the practices, but suffice to say there were no major incidents for any classes and I was pleased to find my head gasket had survived my rather tentative qualifying session.

RACE 1 classes A/F &T

Starting some way down the grid I was surrounded by T types and making my traditional poor start I was soon following them!

My progress was hampered (out comes the excuse book) by car 90 Peter Edney who was dumping large quantities of fluids on the track and over my windscreen.

He retired early on and was not to return in race 2.

I then had to face up to the formidable John Bussey in car 2 who as always really gave me a run for my money in the widest T on the track. His motto is the older you are the faster you go, not sure if that relates to the car or the driver.

We were also joined this time out by the Maestro of Andrew Sharpe. Sadly I have been told this was to be it’s last outing before sale as Andy is looking to join the Midget Challenge next year.

I saw little of the front runners this time out, but all the usual suspects were there and a good win was achieved by the Carrot Cruncher James Walpole setting a cracking fastest lap of  1.49.

He was followed by gentleman racer  “I’m counting my pennies” (although we all know he’s got loads of them!) Bergonzi , who took second place in class A with the blue streak good old JD in car 38 coming in third in class A but fourth on track behind Paul Rigg in ‘Kermit’ the lime green MGF.

I have to say this time the split grids really worked well. The groupings of cars were very close in terms of lap times and it allowed us all to enjoy a “proper” race without the faster classes bearing down on us with their headlamps blazing. (You know who you are!!) Much more enjoyable for me and in my view a good format for future races when possible.

Race 1 groups B,C&E

The split races allowed me the opportunity to watch the other groups’ race and what a race it proved to be.

In honour of the anniversary of WW2, Team Neaves had formed their Big Wing Squadron with Commander Blaine taking Stan & Ollie out for a bit of formation driving.

This race took off at a blistering pace and Sandra Clark debuting her white MGB was subjected to some low level passes in her first race in the series.

The battle between Cripps and Ludlow or Lofty and Sandbag as we better know them, raged on all race with the little metro turning in a fantastic lap time of 1.45 seconds. Amazing.

Stan Neaves in car 3 broke formation and dived past Commander Blaine to convincingly take his place on the podium in third at race end.

Car 13 of Blagger Burchill was putting in very respectable times and was clearly enjoying his race, managing to hold off Vic Reeves in car 46, who had handed his V8 to brother Bob Mortimer in car 37.

John Yea was back after his problems at Mallory and was driving car 74 like a maniac, depositing large amounts of rubber on the track under heavy braking for the mountain.

A fantastic race to watch, especially Team Neaves as they sounded like a swarm of angry wasps buzzing round the track. Sadly Ollie in car 4 suffered a spate of ignition related problems that were to dog him throughout the day.

Race 2 classes A,F&T

Qualification for this race I think was based on the 2nd quickest lap in qualifying which luckily for me put me ahead of most of the T types.

I made a much better start this time out but not as good as Mr Bussey who nipped in front of me and then proceeded to take on the role of Mr Edney and start dumping fluid on the track.

Fortunately I managed to get past him a little quicker this time out and started to make inroads on the leaders, but first I had to get past Alan Brooke in car 40 and Wreckit in car 5.

A terrific dog-fight (still with the WW2 theme see?) took place between my arch rival Brooke in his Red Baron Metro. (Slipped into WW1 there).

We swapped places on several occasions with Alan using his no braking cornering technique to the full.

On the very last lap as we all flew down towards the tight left hander at Mansfield,  I was hard on the heels of Wreckitt,  with car 40 snapping at my exhaust pipe.

Wreckitt locked up into the corner and I saw my chance to nip through on the inside! I went for it…and all was well until I locked up too!!!

I could see the whites of John’s eyes as we both drifted towards the outside of the track, sadly for John he got to the grass first which allowed me to continue past,  closely followed by Alan in his Metro.

I closed on Primrose piloted (WW2) by Simon Tinkler and as we went through the woodlands a kamikaze dive from Alan caught me by surprise as he zoomed past, half on the grass fully locked up into the hairpin.

We all scrabbled round and I managed to grab a gear and get past Alan as we went round barn, only to see the chequered flag waving…..the race had flashed by but what a corker it was!

At some point Lew Bergonzi had spun off and finished behind us, but the race was won by Paul Rigg in Kermit as he frogmarched his way (how do I think of these?) past Walpole and Darby.

A great race once again!

Race 2 B,C&E

This time it’s personal!!!

Cripps and Ludlow were at it again, storming off for race two and opening up a massive lead on all others who followed in their wake.

The crowd was treated to some fantastic power slides by Lofty Cripps as he hurled his GT round the twisty Cadwell Circuit. Not to be outdone, Sandbag was just as spectacular in his front wheel drive dog-kennel.

The rest of the field battled  away with Commander Neaves in third following the early landings of Stan and Ollie due to mechanical failure….(I am being generous here Stan don’t you think?) in their K powered roadsters.

Peter Andrews was clearly enjoying his outing in car 33 as he baited Terry Holmes in car 37 with various feigned overtaking manoeuvres.

Dave Brooke was further down the field than he prefers and was unable to make use of his headlamp technique from 7th place, which later turned out to be down to an over-zealous gear change which snapped the knob off….sounds painful!

He finished the race having driven in 4th gear all the way!

Brian Ratcliff in car 61 decided his best way to get noticed was to perform some ballet style pirouettes on the infield by the mountain.

After a couple of failed attempts to drive up the hill on the grass he realised his only chance of rejoining was to go back to the bottom and try again, much to the enjoyment of the watching crowd.

The race was dominated by the antics of Cripps and Ludlow until we heard over the Tannoy that Cripps was out of control…we waited with baited breath for the two front runners to appear and finally a somewhat battered Ludlow emerged, but where was Cripps?

His race was run as we heard he had met Mr Armco and was unable to continue.

But the twists in this tale were not over yet.

Ludlow took the chequered flag and won the race…or so we thought but after a stewards enquiry the final classification gave the race result  as follows:

1st Cripps
2nd Ludlow
3rd Neaves

Now correct me if I am wrong here….but I thought races were only classified on count-back if they were red flagged?

Very strange.

Anyhow, that was Cadwell for you…yet another cracking days racing….does racing get any better than this I hear you ask?

Well not in my book!

I am pleased my car held up and that although there was a little contact this time out, everyone walked away unscathed.

All that remains now is to prepare ourselves for the final race at Snett.

I look forward to seeing how the championship stands when the official positions are released and we once again get our calculators out to see who stands the best, if any chance of an end of year pot as dropped scores come into play.

Pit Lane Gossip

Mr Yokohama says thanks to Paul Rigg for shaving all the tread off his new tyres with hairdryer.
Legs of Doom discovers 15 years is too long to keep his economiser fuel regulator.
Wilson attends Cadwell but forgets to enter car.
Peter Andrews considers racing V8 next year.
Alan Brooke declines to comment on rumours of engine change.
Church Lane T shirts prove to be big disappointment.
Legs of Doom  tries new race technique…switches to B&H from Silk Cut.
Silver fox misses race due to hunting ban.
Burchill up before clerk of course for driving too slowly…it was only a matter of time Pete!

See you at Snett!

Jonesey

Well if you weren’t at Oulton you really missed a treat! Although it didn’t rain nevertheless a cracking days racing was had by all.

The early morning call prompted several Peter Best Drivers to arrive on Friday evening in readiness for the Saturday race.

I had just a short six hour jaunt along the M6 before I got to the track that evening to find that only a smattering of Metros (hurrah) were setting  up camp and even better they had left their ghetto blasters at home.

Soon after I spotted Dr. Evil and  the Blue Streak (because they are inseparable as we know) arrive. Shortly followed by Primrose  and the Trombonist.

We set up our various tents etc, except for the two James’s who had elected to sleep in their cars…I imagine Mr Rigg did the same but I know not where.

We all reconvened in the bar for a night cap which sadly resulted in the Church Lane Racing Team and myself turning in at 12.30. But not to worry we managed to reawaken the two James’s as they had no way way of preventing torch light shining into their cars.

Practice

Raucous crow cawing woke us all up at 6am only to be greeted by the beaming face of the Loony photographer who was marshalling that day and the booming voice of Burchill who was marshalling his team of students.

I must say how impressed I was with the scrutineers. It just goes to show you do not need to take half an hour over every car to get us through. They still pulled up several cars for minor safety infringements but we went through at break-neck speed….Donington take note!!

We eagerly zoomed out for practice and I intended to slot in behind Dr Evil as he warmed up his tyres so I could pick up some tips. Sadly he warmed them up in the pit lane and by turn three he had gone!

Practice was quite eventful for some as Ewart Kitson blew a head gasket early on, a problem which despite sterling efforts later coupled with clouds of smoke he was never to recover from.

Brooke Junior managed an early spin but still recorded a quicker time than me and placed 16th on the grid. Burchill decided to use practice as a wind up session slowing down in front of me and then zooming off….just because he could, securing 15th on the grid in his recently tweaked car.

The Blue Streak JD took pole for class A proving that sleepless nights are the best way to prepare for the race.

Simon Cripps secured overall pole by using  the traditional stop-watch method in place of a transponder but in fairness there was little any of the regulars could offer by way of a challenge to him.

Both Weasley in the yellow peril and John “the assassin” Wreghitt, or Wreck-it as he is usually known had some work to do post-practice.

Wreck-it had done a bit of grass-tracking and smashed his spoiler up and Weasley the Pirouette expert seems to delight in rebuilding his car in between practice and race.

The Race

After a quick spot of lunch the race was upon us and 24 potential race winners lined up on the grid.

I decided to try and avoid my usual wheel-spin start with the aim of trying to set off with everyone else this time round.

The lights went out and the usual mayhem ensued with 24 cars all trying to go for the same bit of track in turn one.

I managed to get past Burchill (hurrah) who was busy stubbing his fag out at the start.

Wreck-it was on a suicide mission, but sadly it was assisted suicide as he tried to assist me to an early death by grinning at me and with a banshee wail offered me the choice of grass or his off-side front wing!

By turn two The Blue Streak had blown his engine, which must really have been a bitter blow having secured pole in practice. But all’s fair in love and racing which meant one more place for me!

Another monumental battle then ensued once again between me, Brooke Junior and Wreck-it but also in the mix was the Silver Fox John Bincliffe in 71 and also John  Bussey in car 2 who was fully committed to his drive-it-like-you-stole it technique in his TC. That car should NOT be as quick as that!!!

Lap after lap we fought on with various desperate lunges being made by all at the chicanes. Wreghitt and Bussey filled my mirrors one minute and then were side by side with me the next!

All the while the Brooke Metro clung on in front until a foxy move by Binnacle led to a lock up in car 44 at the chicane (where else?) and I nipped though closely followed by  cars 2 and 5.

Up the hill and I had the unpleasant task of trying to stop both these cars passing me on either side!

I started to close up on the Silver Fox in the corners only for him to hit the loud peddle and pull away on the exits.

A couple more laps and who knows what the outcome would have been?

However there weren’t a couple more laps and as we passed the chequered flag it was 71, 40 and 2…as Wreck-it had put in a last corner spin to end with a flourish allowing 44 and good old Burchill past at last knockings!!

A very exciting and quite exhausting race ended up with Cripps 1st, James Walpole 1st in class A, short haired Dave taking class B honours.

Some interesting points in the race were that Simon Tinkler in Primrose car 18 took fastest lap in class A. I don’t believe this is all down to the driver Simon????

The wheel came off literally for Kevin Stibbards and both Bussey and Burchill recorded quicker laps than me but finished behind me…..that’s racing!

Miss Daisy should be happy with improved reliability and also shaving 4 seconds off her qualifying time.

Legs of Doom achieved his ambition of making last place his own, and Dave Brown in car 26 seems to be well on the way to resolving the teething troubles in his F only just losing out to the trombonist.

Wherever we finished I think we all had a really enjoyable race and to top it all off the first three finishers were made to stand on some wooden blocks at the presentation, looking to all intents and purposes as though they were facing a firing squad.

Of particular note I thought, was Vic Reeves look-a-like Barry Holmes who with a prior Fancy Dress Party commitment had already changed into his giant canary costume to save time!

Well done!!!!

There you are folks, all set for the next round at Brands in a few weeks time.

If the rest of the season carries on like this it should be a real corker!!!

Thanks to you all for the synchronised heckling ( sorry I mean cheering) when I got my 3rd place pot…..the cheque is in the post. And thanks to those manning (or should I say personning) the hospitality tent…I really enjoyed the Hog-roast rolls yum!)

I was also pleased to see the newly formed and no doubt soon to be disbanded Welsh contingent of the Jonesey-Racing fan club attired in co-ordinating regalia…I know, you couldn’t make it up could you?  But thanks for turning up, I hope you enjoyed the day as much as I did.

See you at Brands!!!!

Jonesey