Mallory Race Report July 2010

A slightly reduced field of Peter Besters took to the track as guests of the Morgan Sports Car Club at Mallory.

The Morgan drivers consisting of several Tarquins and Ponsonby-Smythes were a little taken aback as the Peter Besters consisted of Browns and Joneses.

Nevertheless they let us race anyway.

As predicted of the 24 who turned up to race, bringing up the rear with their late entries were the V8 brigade consisting of Spencer, Reeves and V8 wannabee Weasley Beasley.

Although you had to feel sorry for Reeves as he wandered forlornly about the paddock on his own, missing his pal and spiritual leader Cripps.

What few of us knew but I can now exclusively reveal about Lofty was that his enforced absence was due to undergoing an urgent medical procedure.

Due to the presence of the gigantis gene in his body, which is hereditary, Cripps’ head is too far away from the ground. His excessive height means that unlike us normal folk, gravity has an increased effect on him and this has resulted in Lofty’s upper teeth gradually falling out. He has tried to mask this with a set of false ones but this was only a temporary measure hence his recent absence to have a new set fitted.

I digress…back to the race stuff!

24 eager Besters took to the field for practice, although Wilson of Clockwork Orange fame was spending more time with his panel-beater, the Wilson Clan were well represented in the shape of long-lost cousin Simon Wilson. Sadly he was driving a Metro but you can’t have everything I suppose. At least his driving skills seem somewhat more developed than that of his older cousin, er.. Wilson.

He took his smoking Metro out for a good thrashing, the fault which later turned out to be no more than too much oil exiting via the dipstick.

Nice stickers on his car too,  thoughtfully provided by his pit crew.

Dave Brown was re-in-car- nated (see what I did there?-priceless!) in a slightly worse for wear Sprite which he had dragged back into service following his prang at Silverstone.

Unfortunately it was not to survive practice and he retired,  but 10 out of 10 for effort in coming back though.

Beasley was another casualty and was seen tinkering away at the end of practice but to no avail.

Tripod also suffered some sort of catastrophe involving a  head replacement, Beaker did tell me what the problem was but it was of a technical nature so I naturally forgot what he said.

Long haired Dave offered up his usual “mis-fire” excuse but we all know it was really that his head-lamp bulbs had blown.

The shock departure of the day was the Blue Streak James Darby. He suffered a suspected exploding piston and was not able to join the race proper. He denies that his compression testing programme was to blame and vows to return with the Blue Steak Mk2 development engine at Cadwell.

Blaine Neaves suffered from an anti-rollbar wrenching itself free from the chassis but he did not discover this until after the race!

The Race

So a slightly reduced grid went out for the race proper on this small track which seemed to be a bit of a car breaker.

As the Green flag lap began, Tripod erupted in a cloud of steam and was pushed off the track…..Primrose piloted by  Simon Tinkler decided she didn’t want to start and was relegated to the back of the grid after receiving a hefty shove from the marshals.

Same goes for Rob Spencer who also could’nt start and joined Primrose at the back of the  grid too!

That left me at an advantage, but with both Pat Fenn and Blagger Burchill in front of me I needed a good start to make the most of it.

Red lights on then in true Murray Walker fashion…GO GO GO!!!

I made a cracking start, squeezing in between Fenn and Burchill, but Fenn was having none of it as he mysteriously drifted towards the right  sandwiching me between the two cars….this was to end in disaster though as soon after he ended up beached in the grit on Gerards bend.

But more drama was to unfold before the first lap was over….in the distance the front runners were fighting tooth and nail for position when OFF OFF OFF!!!

Alan Brooke in his souped up dog kennel had taken a packet of “brave pills” swigged down with Redbull.

He overtook Blaine Neaves round the outside of Gerards when CONTACT! (I do miss Murray Walker).

Brooke went into a massive slide and struck the Armco head-on.

His race was run and his car pretty well written off….OUCH!

In true Judge Judy fashion, here are the videos - first Alan’s Video-

http://www.youtube.com/watch#!v=-OrbRhKWyEM&playnext=1&videos=9ny8qjB0ucY&feature=sub

 and heres Blaine’s-

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iT78syXLYdY

…you decide!

Blaine continued and finished 3rd overall and 2nd in class behind returning to form sprog, Ollie.

But streets ahead was James Wheeler to take the  race and class win in his yellow roadster.

Meanwhile, back at class A my advantage was being eroded as Primrose on a recovery drive once again was closing in and filling my mirrors.

I was in an unfamiliar position close on the heels of none other than Mr Immac himself James Walpole.

He was engaged in an almighty tussle with class B car 53, Kevin Swann.

Walpole was quicker in the corners but just wasn’t able to out-drag Swann on the little Leicester circuit.

Sadly neither was I!

This allowed veteran racer Lew Bergonzi to steam ahead in his sky-blue roadster to take the class A win.

The action wasn’t over though, as on the last lap Rob Spencer was happily lapping the rest of the grid when he over cooked it into Gerards and buried his V8 in the kitty litter.

There was one other DNF in the shape of Adam Entwhistle car 72…although the reason for his demise escapes me.

So there it is folks, a reduced grid but no reduction in thrills and spills as we once again put on an action packed show for the Mallory crowd.

As I close this report I must just take time to congratulate Silver Fox John Binczyk, for not only achieving the fastest lap for class F but also an emphatic class win! Well done. Shame  there were no other class effers out at the time!

Just one last bit of pitlane gossip regarding Cadwell. As I understand it we are at the moment spread over the whole weekend for this double-header.

The consensus of opinion at Mallory was that if possible most drivers would prefer to race on just the one day, as this made life easier in relation to work commitments  etc. Long Haired Dave is looking into the options and will no doubt keep us posted.

TTFN

Jonesey