Greetings Race Fans and welcome to the Jonesey-Spectating Web Site.

Yes that’s right folks due to circumstances beyond my control I found myself having bought the most expensive view only ticket at Mallory.

Having cast aside my diff troubles at Silverstone I was ready to do battle once more for Class A honours but sadly my trusty B is becoming less and less trusty and decided to blow a head gasket four laps into practice.

I pushed the steaming car back to the paddock and was surprised to see the bonnet fly off and bits of the engine start to appear in a small pile by the side of the car.

On closer examination I found that our Lord and Master, the Right Honourable Frank Thomson and the Team Miss Daisy mechanic (whose name I can never remember) had begun to strip my engine down at lightning speed.

I did not immediately realise it was Mr T. but as the smell of burning flesh increased (as Mr T. never wears gloves) and the insults and expletives rose to a crescendo all doubt was removed.

It is also true that Lord Thomson does indeed move in mysterious ways.

As the internal workings of the engine were revealed, despite a thorough examination by most of the other competitors the final diagnosis was for the technically minded: “It’s f****d!”

That being said I must express my thanks for the magnificent efforts of Mr T. & Team Daisy and also to Pete Bramble, Pat Fenn, Mr Wreckit and Church Lane Racing for their offers of help and / or the provision of spares which I was ultimately unable to use.

So, what to do now then I thought?

Having swept up the pieces of my car into a bin liner I wandered over to the hair-pin to cast my eye on those who had made it through to the race, which consisted of everyone except John Yea who had lost his spark and some bloke called Colin Jones in car 40.

THE RACE

This time out we were joined by a few BCV8 drivers some of whom had already made their presence felt quite literally in some cases ayy Blaine?

Lofty Cripps had pole by a whisker from the “Wheeler Boys” and as for class A it was Farmer Walpole just ahead of “I don’t want a bus pass Bergonzi”.

Car 13 Blagger Burchill had qualified mid-field and was looking dangerous.

Car 60 Doom Racing was concerned that he might lose his coveted last place until he realised Colin Jones was not actually competing.

What followed then was a blisteringly quick and hard fought race throughout the field.

Cripps had an early spin at the hairpin as he fought off the Wheeler Boys who were depositing liberal amounts of yellow paint on his GT.

He then got the bit between his teeth and a furious battle ensued as Cripps perfected his power sliding technique round the hairpin.

In class A Bergonzi had made an excellent start and managed to get ahead of the battling Walpole and Darby.

The two James’s swapped place several times and also had to contend with a silver ZR car 59 who was constantly in the mix.

Team Neaves were involved in a grudge match with Ollie in car 4 giving “old man Blaine” a run for his money and he managed to hold him off right up to the last lap.

Burchill meanwhile had become Mr Consistent as he consistently hugged the inside line at the hairpin forcing anyone who was brave enough to take the long way round to get past…not many did from what I could see.

Just behind him was a gaggle of MGF’s engaged in their own closely fought race as Dave Brown and the Silver Fox (71) battled it out.

Miss Daisy & Legs (60) were vying for last place honours with Doom looking good but tragedy struck as he stopped on lap 10 to relight his ciggie which had been blown out by a passing car.

He was later joined by Weasley in car 80 in “the yellow peril” which was sounding very lumpy as he retired on the penultimate lap.

Overall a very exciting race full of thrills and spills which resulted in a well deserved win for Cripps in the absence of his pal Vic Reeves who was busy filming and unable to take part this time out.

Lew Bergonzi once again upstaged the young pretenders and looks set to fight to the season end for Class A honours.

Blaine Neaves looks to have his hands full with young Ollie and may have to stop his pocket money if he keeps on overtaking him!

On my part, I am once again rummaging around in the garden shed in the hope of getting another engine together in order to finish the season off.

There are a few weeks breather before Cadwell and I will be back!

Just to finish I must say although I didn’t get to race this time out, I still thoroughly enjoyed watching the rest of you show me how it’s done….with any luck I may have picked up a few tips too.

See you at Cadwell.

Jonesey.

PIT LANE GOSSIP.

The surprise appearance of Dallas has prompted a rise in the price of lead.

Wilson has decided to repaint the Clockwork Orange in an innovative new colour….Orange.

Lew Bergonzi has been seen wearing JW’s hat.

Long Haired Dave says IT’S OFFICIAL…his car really does go faster with the headlamps on.

 “After you, no after you….”