Jones sees victory melt away under searing heat!
Yes folks once again a severe lack of rain has resulted in a poor finish for the Joneseyracing MGB.
I should have realised things would take a turn for the worse after queuing up for scrutineering for half an hour only to see the blue flash sneaking along the inside lane pretending he was out in an earlier race.
The scorching hot sun was having a strange effect on the drivers, it was bad enough that the Legs of Doom were once again on show, but it began to look like a knobbly knees competition at one stage with drivers throwing caution to the wind and strolling around in all manner of tasteless shorts!
Good old boy James Walpole was not to be out done as he donned his lucky Wurzel Gummidge hat, which he uses to earn a little extra cash at weekends standing in for the local scarecrow.
Practice.
A relatively sort practice session for the Peter Besters as we were red flagged because of a bit of dangerous parking by Weasley at the hairpin….was this a taste of things to come…?? In a word…YES!
Stan and Ollie were unleashed on an unsuspecting crowd, but despite a remarkably good qualifying position by Ollie the end result was more of a silent movie. The clutches on both cars packed up and their day was done.
To add insult to injury the tow truck ripped off Ollie’s front tow strap which had been hastily glued on for scrutineering…and I did hear that for a finale he ripped the whole spoiler off when taking the car off the trailer during the twilight hours after the race.
Race One.
As the grid was split and class T & F went out with the Metros before the bulk of us (I will get to Mr Burchill later) I had a chance to try and pick up some tips before I went out, sadly with the memory of a gold-fish it did me no good at all.
As we lined up and the lights went out I managed to avoid my trademark wheel spinning start helped by the downward gradient so far back was I on the grid.
Round turn one we went like a pack of heat crazed maniacs and then all hell broke loose. …cars spinning in all directions led if I am not mistaken by silver roadster number 63 Ron Moorcraft.
Of course if any spinning is involved you can be sure that Weasley will be in there and sure enough I saw him taking evasive action crossing the track at a 90 degree angle.
I shut my eyes and aimed for a gap and was surprised to find myself on the other side with only a coating of dust over the windscreen.
Then it was like a dream, for the first time ever I had the somewhat un-nerving sight of James Walpole…(always un-nerving at the best of times)…in my rear view mirror.
Right I thought, best I make the most of this!!!.
There was no way he was going to get past me and I easily held him off for at least two laps…….. then the safety car went in and half a lap later he did a nose dive into Paddock Hill bend and was gone!….
Then Tinkler went past like a man possessed…..really wild round paddock hill…how he stayed on track I will never know.
If that wasn’t enough I then had to contend with the “blue-flash” weaving around behind me along the straights in a desperate attempt to get past, which despite my best efforts he did quite easily.
Any thoughts I had of trying to improve my race position were thwarted as I had misjudged my fuel load and the trusty B started to splutter a bit on the corners…(.perhaps it’s time to get a proper tank instead of the factory fitted original?) but we made it through to the chequered flag.
To sum up Lew Bergonzi stormed to the class A victory closely followed by Dr Evil & Primrose.
The overall winner was Good Old Sandbag who had put in a little practice the day before with the MGOC.
So with race one done, the over-heated cars and drivers had an hour to spend basking in the sizzling sunny weather before we went back to do it all again in race 2.
Race 2
Determined not to make the same mistake twice I put all my remaining fuel in the car and some of Team Neaves as it had become clear they had quite a surplus.
The start was a little bit more restrained once the marshals had finally made up their minds where we were meant to be on the grid.
I spent most of my time jousting with frustrated class A wannabe Pete Burchill, who employing his tried and trusted “slow cornering and flat out on the straights” technique was more than a match for my ageing B.
Still I thought, at least I could hold on to fourth but NO!!! The (up until then) welcome return to racing of Brian Blessed impersonator Peter Andrews ,.co-driver of Primrose, had other ideas and blasted past me with a cheery grin to join the train of cars behind Burchill.
Tantalisingly close I got in the corners only to drift off line or spin the rear wheels uselessly as the pack zoomed away in front of me.
The only thing that improved this race was my consistency…I was consistently 5th and that’s a place lower than last year….progress or what?
The final result was a slight switch around of drivers save for Sandbag who clinched another scorching victory. Second went to Barry Holmes this time out swapping places with Simon Cripps from race one.
James Walpole swapped with Lew Bergonzi taking 1st in class A and Darby with his newly re-built engine took third by a whisker from Peter Andrews.
Glorious weather and exciting racing once again from a packed PBIC grid…roll on Silverstone!
Pit Lane Gossip:
The return of the clockwork orange car in October following its purchase by Legs of Dooms’ pal, who tells me he is busy de-tuning it to bring it back down to class A spec…..hang on a minute,…???
Stan & Ollie likely to miss Silverstone to resolve their clutch problems…but god help us when they do!!
Rumours that another Montego estate (oh no) and maybe a Maestro are looking to join the series….we just need a few more models to have a full set.
And a quick apology for missing the presentations this time round but I was pressed into service assisting Team Neaves who sport 3 cars but just the one trailer. (Sorry about the spoiler Ollie).
Well that’s all for now folks, I hope to get the pre-Silverstone report out in time but am looking to take a few days off with the long-suffering “her-indoors” so don’t hold your breath!
Jonesey







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42 visitors commented in " Race Report Brands Hatch May 2009 "
Follow-up comment rss or Leave a TrackbackSo Mr J, a place lower than last year! Mmmmm! Haven’t got your eyes on my last place have you?
Mr Fisher doesn’t count before you say anything (unless he is going to be a regular). A few times in the 2nd race it actually got close to the point of using Miss Daisy’s rear bumper to prevent an overtake! Does this mean that the brothers Jones are planning an assault on last place?????
To add to the Pit Lane Gossip! The new owner of the clockwork orange would be known to some of the old lags as….. Wilson! And those of us that know him better as……. Wilson!
Also we suspect that Mr T(homson) may have been suitably enthused after his visit on Sunday that he may finally get around to putting his engine back in the “Greenhouse effect” ready for Mallory!
Thank you for your prompt comment and also adding to the Pit Lane Gossip which I hope will become a regular feature, even if I have to make it up!…Have you noticed a distinct lack of gibberish this time out…must be all that sun!!
Great write up Mr J, but it sounds like a completely different Peter Best race to the one I was in. Hang on a minute…….
And I don’t remember this at all..
Slippery Paddock Hill!
Interesting report Mr Jones, see you at silverstone for some more stop and go action
An entertaining write up as usual.
Silverstone will soon be upon us so get your race entries in now if you haven’t already. I suspect it will be another over subscribed race for the PBIC. And for those of you wishing to do Mallory on 2nd Aug with the 750MC, the entry forms are available on the 750MC web site. Again get your entries in early. We wont be able to overflow into another championship at that meeting.
James.
Would then be the Mr T(ake that off its not allowed!) formally known as God ?
I have now seen the video & must apologise to car 63 as it was in fact car 74 John Yea who was spinning…but I got Weasley right though!!
***THIS IS THE LINK TO THE 750 ENTRY FORM FOR MALLORY***
Mallory Entry Form
As Mallory is not an MGCC event, does this mean I won’t get half price entries?
13 Minutes sounds a bit strange!
As there has been a distinct lack of gibberish this time out I have added a new video to page 2 of the Youtube section which made me laugh at any rate…it’s the one that has nothing to do with racing!
A couple of new videos uploaded to youtube..
Sounds interesting…fancy telling us what they’re called?
Sounds like another top race I should’ve been involved in! Shame 2/3rds of Team Neaves didn’t make it but god help us all when they do! At least they didn’t roll over like I did! Congrats to Sandbagger. Falklands over and out.
I think Alan expects people to search for the videos!
Here are some I’ve seen so far:-
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a_PGis0Duls
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4VKBqQGbvqQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LcTgiERmabE
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KuJBnwB3dek
Any one got any more I can put on the website?
Dave
Yes I was 90 degrees and put there by Mr Yea barging though and clipping me sending me sideways.
I am uploading some in car footage shortly, good view from the back ;-[
Clockwork Orange update: my quick fettle seems to be a little more involved than I first thought. As I survey my handiwork, the car is almost completly dismantled and spread all over the garage floor. However my CERS(clockwork energy release system) is coming along nicely.
The car will remain the same lurid colour as before.
I was a little concerned that the comments regarding the detuning may have been perilously close to libel - does anyone know a good motor lawyer?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TZZao6S7Sfc race 1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VvXMh7j-vjg race 2 till the tape ran out…
remarks regarding detuning a certain orange car may also cause offence to a previous owner………….
Yes the truth hurts so they say, but as you have already got the money I don’t suppose you are that offended…..maybe I have opened up a can of worms here…or perhaps it’s a can of oranges?
We all need some of this sometimes
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cY1YndLmbXQ
In order to nip any potential litigation and offence in the bud I would like to state that the car was disapointingly devoid of hooky features, I will therefore need to rely on my unique car control to get the car to the front….I’ve already got it sliding nicely, last nght it slid off the axles stands nearly killing myself and seriously hurting The legs of Doom who was holding on to the car at the time!
(T)hompson is not the man formally known as God but was in fact the man formally known as “The Dartford Tyres Speed King” whose banger racing weapon of choice was an Austin Cambridge with concrete sills and a cast iron radiator welded to the front.
So my attempts to generate litigation has failed, but perhaps I could persuade Legs to sue for personal injury compensation? I am placing a bulk order for the excellent product identified by car 44!
It’s OK everyone I’ll heal! So don’t panic about Silverstone…. Just incase you are about to draw straws as to who is last. However, my bottle of Coke was badly shaken in the incident.
The Gibber-o-meter should hopefully be repaired soon, ready for the next assault (or should that be insult). It was extensively damaged after the Pre-Brands thread (whilst setting a new gibberish record). Fortunately the gibberish seems to be at controlable levels at the moment, more an advert for Youtube…….There are some much better videos on other websites ending in tube…Apparently….. So I’m told!
r yes the product used in every good car,
well mine any way
Doom, you will be pleased to know that I have almost completed my Pre-Silverstone report and it contains more gibberish than ever….watch this space!
That would make a change!
If I can spread a little gibberish along the way…..
Splendid Mr J. I’m sure I speak for us all when I say ‘can’t wait’. Now with extra gibberish.
It just gets better and better doesn’t it?
Will it be mostly Team Neaves related gibberish again this time?
I like to share my gibberish around, although to be fair dumb & dumber have made a concerted effort to dominate in the gibberish stakes.
We have been doing our best, but have been facing stiff competition from Bros - who are making a come back I hear…
http://tinyurl.com/m3tocg
Superb!!!! Now where did I put those earrings?….
Such a shame about that Stan guy, did just the one race but never seen again…..
Does that mean Stan and Ollie are officially Brosettes? That should “put the cat amongst the pigeons”….
Not yet, maybe when they’re famous…
If you ask me that Stan & Ollie are nothin’ but trouble…
Well done lads - Quality gibberish!
Nice to see Team Miss Daisy has finally woken up (or returned from holiday). Hope you got your fuel pressure problem sorted? Don’t want to see the Hippy Hearse threatening my last place at Silverstone!!!!!
Anyone got any idea on the number of entries for Mallory yet???????? Or shall I leave my cheque book closed!
Even Max is talking about us now, Looney movement is growing Silverstone domination could happen……
You and Flavio Briatore, could be brothers!