Welcome race fans…yes this is the BIG ONE!

Forget about Silverstone or MG Live or whatever we are calling it this year, even better than that, we have the long awaited and much heralded arrival of the new apprentice drivers with Team Neaves. Will they get fired (up)?

That’s right Dan Laurel and Oliver Hardy are the guys that are promising to set the world on fire by both achieving podium finishes in their first race and blowing the opposition into the dust.

Their pristine cars are soon to turn their wheels in anger for the first time and take on the mighty Peter Best field at Brands.

Not the track I would have chosen to start my race career but then what do I know? Not only that the grid is so full we have had to send the overspill out in another race…although who they are remains to be seen.

I guess I ought to apologise now to Legs of Doom as his gibber-o-meter will melt after this Special Report. He still seems to be under the misapprehension that this web-site has something to do with motor –racing, don’t know why he thought that!

The Hardy boys have styled themselves along the Top Gun theme but I can exclusively reveal their true name is Team TOT…that is short for Tarts on Track, which was attributed to them by their engine builder in light of their obsession with the presentation of their cars and their Nicky Clarke hairdos… (I blame short-haired Dave for starting off this trend.)

They are likely to give Mr Walpole and Mr Fenn some stiff competition in the best presented car stakes and are hoping that their metalflake painted engine bays will wow the crowds.

The cars are painted in gas-board blue on the outside and the Hardy boys have acknowledged that their main concern is trying to remove the tyre marks off their cars which they expect to pick up as they lap the rest of the field.

The race organisers have asked if all mirrors be removed from competitor’s cars for this double header as it is feared the lads will spend too much time admiring themselves and will delay the formation of the grid.

The Team is headed up by Blaine “Alan Sugar” Neaves and has already run into some apprentice type difficulties as they are trying to figure out how to get three cars to the track with just the one trailer!

A special feature this month (oh no not another special I hear you groan) is a little spot the film competition, in honour of the inaugural race for Stan & Ollie. A prize may or may not be given for spotting how many Laurel and Hardy films feature in this article.

Answers next month maybe…

Stan and Ollie are hoping they have the finishing touch and will leave em laughing as the two tars (t) hit the track. They will be going great guns but will it be Top Gun I hear you ask? I reckon it will be nothing but trouble and they will be in another fine mess as the blockheads take to the track. Although one good turn deserves another, it will be early to bed for the lads so their first mistake will not be missing signing on. They will be busy bodies as they begin their careers at Brands and it could be the start of a big business involving much dirty work if the trusty MG is anything to go by. Hopefully our relations won’t sour following the race but I could be wrong again and if the abilities of me and my pal are not as good as they expect they may end up at the county hospital.

Any way enough about the dynamic duo, following our outing at Oulton several drivers have had their work cut out in order to get their cars fixed in time for Brands.

Ewart Kitson in car 20 left Oulton with a suspected warped head, (the car not the driver). The Blue flash turned out to be a flash in the pan as James Darby blew (or should that be Blue?) an engine. It is hoped he will be able to use one of his many spare engines in order to join us at Brands.

Lew Bergonzi is back for this race and also Pat Fenn who dipped out of Oulton last time round.

There are also a lot of new drivers in class B who I presume have joined us from the BCV8 series.

I did look them up in the drivers profile section of the official site but sadly the only profile there appears to be some loser called Jones. (Surely the driver’s reps at least could find time to put down a few lines….contentious or what?)

If the new drivers (or any of the old ones come to that) would like to jot down a brief introduction in the comments section here, I would be happy to publish it and also it will give me some material with which to take the p**s next time out.

Alternatively how about the organisers/ drivers reps introducing the new guys to us at the prize giving presentation ….to welcome them to the Peter Best Series?

Ok folks, enough waffling for the time being….I am off to change my worn out brake pads and put the battery on charge in readiness for Brands.

See you there bright and early on Sunday!!! Who knows the official Oulton Race Report might be ready by then too!

Jonesey.