Greetings Race Fans!

Well if you weren’t at Oulton you really missed a treat! Although it didn’t rain nevertheless a cracking days racing was had by all.

The early morning call prompted several Peter Best Drivers to arrive on Friday evening in readiness for the Saturday race.

I had just a short six hour jaunt along the M6 before I got to the track that evening to find that only a smattering of Metros (hurrah) were setting  up camp and even better they had left their ghetto blasters at home.

Soon after I spotted Dr. Evil and  the Blue Streak (because they are inseparable as we know) arrive. Shortly followed by Primrose  and the Trombonist.

We set up our various tents etc, except for the two James’s who had elected to sleep in their cars…I imagine Mr Rigg did the same but I know not where.

We all reconvened in the bar for a night cap which sadly resulted in the Church Lane Racing Team and myself turning in at 12.30. But not to worry we managed to reawaken the two James’s as they had no way way of preventing torch light shining into their cars.

Practice

Raucous crow cawing woke us all up at 6am only to be greeted by the beaming face of the Loony photographer who was marshalling that day and the booming voice of Burchill who was marshalling his team of students.

I must say how impressed I was with the scrutineers. It just goes to show you do not need to take half an hour over every car to get us through. They still pulled up several cars for minor safety infringements but we went through at break-neck speed….Donington take note!!

We eagerly zoomed out for practice and I intended to slot in behind Dr Evil as he warmed up his tyres so I could pick up some tips. Sadly he warmed them up in the pit lane and by turn three he had gone!

Practice was quite eventful for some as Ewart Kitson blew a head gasket early on, a problem which despite sterling efforts later coupled with clouds of smoke he was never to recover from.

Brooke Junior managed an early spin but still recorded a quicker time than me and placed 16th on the grid. Burchill decided to use practice as a wind up session slowing down in front of me and then zooming off….just because he could, securing 15th on the grid in his recently tweaked car.

The Blue Streak JD took pole for class A proving that sleepless nights are the best way to prepare for the race.

Simon Cripps secured overall pole by using  the traditional stop-watch method in place of a transponder but in fairness there was little any of the regulars could offer by way of a challenge to him.

Both Weasley in the yellow peril and John “the assassin” Wreghitt, or Wreck-it as he is usually known had some work to do post-practice.

Wreck-it had done a bit of grass-tracking and smashed his spoiler up and Weasley the Pirouette expert seems to delight in rebuilding his car in between practice and race.

The Race

After a quick spot of lunch the race was upon us and 24 potential race winners lined up on the grid.

I decided to try and avoid my usual wheel-spin start with the aim of trying to set off with everyone else this time round.

The lights went out and the usual mayhem ensued with 24 cars all trying to go for the same bit of track in turn one.

I managed to get past Burchill (hurrah) who was busy stubbing his fag out at the start.

Wreck-it was on a suicide mission, but sadly it was assisted suicide as he tried to assist me to an early death by grinning at me and with a banshee wail offered me the choice of grass or his off-side front wing!

By turn two The Blue Streak had blown his engine, which must really have been a bitter blow having secured pole in practice. But all’s fair in love and racing which meant one more place for me!

Another monumental battle then ensued once again between me, Brooke Junior and Wreck-it but also in the mix was the Silver Fox John Bincliffe in 71 and also John  Bussey in car 2 who was fully committed to his drive-it-like-you-stole it technique in his TC. That car should NOT be as quick as that!!!

Lap after lap we fought on with various desperate lunges being made by all at the chicanes. Wreghitt and Bussey filled my mirrors one minute and then were side by side with me the next!

All the while the Brooke Metro clung on in front until a foxy move by Binnacle led to a lock up in car 44 at the chicane (where else?) and I nipped though closely followed by  cars 2 and 5.

Up the hill and I had the unpleasant task of trying to stop both these cars passing me on either side!

I started to close up on the Silver Fox in the corners only for him to hit the loud peddle and pull away on the exits.

A couple more laps and who knows what the outcome would have been?

However there weren’t a couple more laps and as we passed the chequered flag it was 71, 40 and 2…as Wreck-it had put in a last corner spin to end with a flourish allowing 44 and good old Burchill past at last knockings!!

A very exciting and quite exhausting race ended up with Cripps 1st, James Walpole 1st in class A, short haired Dave taking class B honours.

Some interesting points in the race were that Simon Tinkler in Primrose car 18 took fastest lap in class A. I don’t believe this is all down to the driver Simon????

The wheel came off literally for Kevin Stibbards and both Bussey and Burchill recorded quicker laps than me but finished behind me…..that’s racing!

Miss Daisy should be happy with improved reliability and also shaving 4 seconds off her qualifying time.

Legs of Doom achieved his ambition of making last place his own, and Dave Brown in car 26 seems to be well on the way to resolving the teething troubles in his F only just losing out to the trombonist.

Wherever we finished I think we all had a really enjoyable race and to top it all off the first three finishers were made to stand on some wooden blocks at the presentation, looking to all intents and purposes as though they were facing a firing squad.

Of particular note I thought, was Vic Reeves look-a-like Barry Holmes who with a prior Fancy Dress Party commitment had already changed into his giant canary costume to save time!

Well done!!!!

There you are folks, all set for the next round at Brands in a few weeks time.

If the rest of the season carries on like this it should be a real corker!!!

Thanks to you all for the synchronised heckling ( sorry I mean cheering) when I got my 3rd place pot…..the cheque is in the post. And thanks to those manning (or should I say personning) the hospitality tent…I really enjoyed the Hog-roast rolls yum!)

I was also pleased to see the newly formed and no doubt soon to be disbanded Welsh contingent of the Jonesey-Racing fan club attired in co-ordinating regalia…I know, you couldn’t make it up could you?  But thanks for turning up, I hope you enjoyed the day as much as I did.

See you at Brands!!!!

Jonesey