Greetings race fans!

Well the waiting is almost over as we raise the curtain on the Season Opener for 2009 at the legendary Donington Circuit. It is so exciting that I have completed my pre-race report early to allow you all extra time to enjoy it!

All the frantic preparation over the winter months will now be put to the test as a cast of thousands, well 36 anyway, takes to the track.

The clever money is on the former BCV8 guys who have recently joined the PBIC as the ones who will blaze a trail.

However they will have to contend with 2008 champ Debbie (does Donington) and the regulars in Class C - Barry Holmes and Blaine the Builder who are sure to give them a run for their money. Not to forget the long awaited return of Dan the Sandman Ludlow in his jet propelled Metro.

Also in the running will be the driver who is always blowing his own trumpet (is that legal?) Paul Rigg racing in one of his fleet of vehicles, yet to be decided …that is if he has remembered to get MFR her birthday present!

As for the rest of the field  the ‘Silver Fox’ car 71 - John Binliner,  has been scrabbling around to find his entry fee after buying another car…(hmm no sympathy from me on that one.). He is keen to show a clean pair of heels in his new MGF. The name Binczyk is derived from the Polish verb to “feel unwell after excess drink”. An example in conversation would be - “How are you today?”  Reply “Not too well, in fact I’ve Binczyk”. A little known fact about John Bincliff is the hereditary trait from his Polish ancestors. All the male Binmen possess a hooked index finger. This was to be the secret of their plumbing skills but clearly with the advent of computers it has proved to be their Achilles heel when it comes to operating the scrolling wheel on the mouse. Fear not John, following the amazing amount of comments received for the Valentines Report I am speaking nicely to my web-host with a view to updating the layout of posted comments to make them more user friendly.

Class A winner Doctor Evil has been spending the winter months completing a full strip down and rebuild of his engine, meticulously polishing every part by hand.

The Blue Streak James Darby is also out with a new high-output engine this year which of course he will continue to deny when asked!

Despite a lot of hype there is no sign of Stan & Ollie who are still putting their concourse cars together.  They will never get the “Laurels” at this rate…another fine mess one might say?

Car 18 Simon Tinkler and his Church Lane Racing Team will be looking for divine intervention to secure a podium finish at Donington. They went well last year but were struck by the hand of god when their high compression engine let go resulting in a DNF in 2008.

The battle for last place is no less exciting with Miss Daisy and Legs of Doom both vying for contention. Legs of Doom has already achieved a personal best of 14th reserve, his highest placing ever!
Nevertheless, don’t believe the hype as I have it on good authority that the last place stalwarts have secretly been rebuilding their cars over the winter months and one was also spotted testing at this very circuit just a few weeks ago….
Legs is also sporting a new sponsor, ‘zero exhaust’ who have included a strict no-smoking clause in the contract…will Piggott be able to hold out or will he fall at the first hurdle?

Car 13 will be sporting a new paint job which as we went to press, was still being applied to the car. This will allow spectators to literally watch paint dry which should prove a lot more exciting than watching Burchill saunter round the track!

A familiar face missing from the grid this year will be Beaker in his tripod midget (43). He is gearing up for a spot of penguin shooting in the Falklands so will be unable to compete until the last race of the season.
Nevertheless , as Dancing on Ice contestant Rob Weasley has still to perfect his pirouette,  Beaker has agreed to attend as a spectator for the first race and bring along a boot full of Midget spares just in case.

As for me,  I have asked permission to complete a rolling start as despite my best efforts I am still suffering from clutch problems which means I cannot get 1st gear…if only I had kept up my Popular Mechanics subscription.

I must say I am really enjoying reading the driver biographies on the mug shot page of the “Serious” site….of course I am more than happy to write them for those of you who are too busy washing their hair…..

On that obscure note it is time to end and concentrate our efforts on the forthcoming race.

I wish you all the best of luck for the 2009 Season and sincerely hope that I see you all in my rear view mirror!

Jonesey